Double Standards for Men and Women

This past week, I was having lunch with a group of my friends, which included four girls and one guy. During the lunch, though, I could tell that the boy was uncomfortable being the only guy there. I later talked to him about it and he confessed that he felt that he couldn't enjoy himself, or he would consider himself to be "gay". But I feel completely comfortable being the only girl in a group of all guys. It just shocked me that one gender can do something, while the other feels that it is unacceptable for them to do so in our society. And not only are there double standards for men, but there are even more, in my opinion, for women. For example, if a guy "hooks up" with four girls in one night, his friends label him as a legend or a player. Good labels in the eyes of men. But if a girl ends up "hooking up" with four guys, her peers label her as a slut or a whore. He is upgraded while she is degraded.

Why does there need to be a difference when men and women do the exact same thing? If we are supposed to be equals, the consequences to our actions should be equal. But they aren’t. And I don’t think we should try and hide these double standards. Awareness is the first step towards a solution. But in my opinion, the solution to these double standards is time. Gender issues have become so engrained in our society that they won’t be easily fixed. I was recently having a discussion in my history class about gay rights. We addressed how people have just started to become comfortable with homosexuals in the past few decades. It took women centuries to get the vote. It took African Americans centuries to gain some equality. All minorities fight their fights with time. Gay rights will be fought with time, and I believe that time will hopefully solve our double standards. 


Andrea Dorkin, a firm feminist once said, "We have a double standard, which is to say, a man can show how much he cares by being violent -- see, he's jealous, he cares -- a woman shows how much she cares by how much she's willing to be hurt; by how much she will take ; how much she will endure." (Dorkin). I find it to be almost humorous if you think about how many things occur in our daily lives that include a double standard. Just by watching a movie, and seeing the drama that arises between a girl and a guy because he is jealous or because she isn't willing to "open her heart" to him. As Dorkin explains, men are allowed this violent approach, while women take a victim stance. Men and women are different. We all know that. But I do not believe that society should have different expectations for both sexes. We should and need to be equals.