Death in Women's Literature

In the beginning of this course on women’s literature, I predicted we would see trends of various themes throughout the works we read, including: violence, discrimination, body images, and gender equality. But after reading various novels, one of the themes that stick out most for me is death. It isn’t that death is thought of as being the same concept in everything. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Instead, the pieces analyze death in completely different ways, whether it is a way of communication, to do with reincarnation, or due to a mental illness, they all connect to death. I would never have thought that women’s literature could include an emphasis on death, but it truly does.

Firstly, Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, portrays death to be something completely different from its common meaning. After news of the death of Septimus, Woolf writes, “Death was defiance. Death was an attempt to communicate; people feeling the impossibility of reaching the centre which, mystically, evaded them; closeness drew apart; rapture faded; one was alone. There was an embrace in death” (163). The way Woolf writes, she makes it seem that death is not a sad and solemn time for someone. Instead, it is a way of escaping; of escaping a life in which you feel alone. I can see how this connects to Mrs. Dalloway, and all women for that matter. Mrs. Dalloway goes through a realization of how trivial her life is. Going to buy flowers, throwing parties, they are all trivial things. Her life lacks meaning and purpose. And death is an escape. But Clarissa sees her escape not as death, but as Richard. “Even now, quite often if Richard had not been there reading the Times, so that she could crouch like a bird and gradually revive…she must have perished. She had escaped. But that young man had killed himself” (164). This dependency on men, in my opinion can be even worse than death. From what I have already written about for Jasmine, you need to be yourself. Individuality does not come from others and your choices in life should be your own. What is very interesting is how Clarissa claims that she feels like Septimus: “She felt somehow very like him- the young man who had killed himself” (165). He had shown defiance in his choice. His final choice was his own. Death in Mrs. Dalloway is an escape, but not the only escape in life. Clarissa is content with her life, she loves Richard, and he is good for her. Clarissa does not need death, but I think she needed to see it so that she could come to that realization.

Secondly, in Jasmine, we see death as a series of reincarnations throughout Jasmine’s journey of men. Each time she moves, she is with a new man, and she gains a new name or identity. “I have had a husband for each of the women I have been. Prakash for Jasmime, Taylor for Jase, Bud for Jane. Half-Face for Kali” (197). I don’t think it is her identity, though, that dies every time she moves. I believe that Bharati Mukherjee is trying to emphasize the death of places, and the continuation of an identity. When we leave a place forever, we keep memories for as long as we can. But that is all we have left. In our minds, these places have vanished, never to be seen in person again. But I don’t think this should be a sad occasion. For Jasmine, the death of one place just means the birth of another. Another step on her journey. Another man to love. The memory of her life in Hasnapur stays with Jasmine throughout the story. In a recollection of bathrobes, Mukherjee writes, “I want to tell him that when I was a girl in Hasnapur only playboys in Bombay movies wore bathrobes. That meant, in short-hand, they had a bathroom, they had modesty, and they had air conditioning… I have triumphed” (231). But Jasmine keeps these memories to herself. Mainly because Bud does not fully understand, but partly, in my opinion, because Hasnapur is her own, the one thing that has stayed with her through everything.

Lastly, The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf explores the end result of intense mental illnesses like anorexia and bulimia. Both of these are extremely harmful to the bodies of women, a majority of which are very young. Wolf states that, “The disease is a deadly one. Brumberg reports that 5 to 15 percent of hospitalized anorexics die in treatment, giving the disease one of the highest fatality rates for a mental illness” (182). Being suicidal is a mental illness, just like anorexia. We don’t normally think about eating disorders in that way, but it is a form of suicide. But I find it horrible that we have come to this point, where teenage girls are starving themselves just so they can look like the models in magazines. And it is all thanks to the path that society has taken. Every year, the models have become thinner and the pressure has increased on young girls to be pretty. Appearances are so important in every sphere of life, including the office, your social life, and school. First impressions are important, and what do you first notice about a person? What they look like. But what is worse is that society does nothing to bring awareness about these problems. “When they fall, there are no memorial services, no intervention through awareness programs, no formal message from their schools and colleges that the society prefers its young women to eat and thrive rather than sicken and die” (181). We hide these illnesses, but it is only harming those of us who are healthy. Death for these women is an escape from pressure. Their desire to be skinny overshadows their logical thinking. And this is what leads them to their deaths. Naomi Wolf brings in a very interesting point when she refers to Virginia Woolf. 

“Virginia Woolf in A Room of One’s Own had a vision that someday young women would have access to the rich forbidden libraries of the men’s colleges, their sunken lawns, their vellum, the claret light… Now young women have pushed pas the staff that barred Woolf’s way… they are halted by an immaterial barrier she did not foresee. Their minds are proving well able; their bodies self-destruct” (181). 

As women have become more equal in society, society has pushed right back and sickened the minds of millions.

Death is a choice. Death is an escape. Death is reincarnation. Death is the birth of a new place. Death is the continuation of a journey. Death is an illness. Death is what society wants. I have thoroughly gained a new perspective on death through women’s literature. It has been connected to so many different things, that I can see in my own life. Something that I think every piece of literature should achieve.

Double Standards for Men and Women

This past week, I was having lunch with a group of my friends, which included four girls and one guy. During the lunch, though, I could tell that the boy was uncomfortable being the only guy there. I later talked to him about it and he confessed that he felt that he couldn't enjoy himself, or he would consider himself to be "gay". But I feel completely comfortable being the only girl in a group of all guys. It just shocked me that one gender can do something, while the other feels that it is unacceptable for them to do so in our society. And not only are there double standards for men, but there are even more, in my opinion, for women. For example, if a guy "hooks up" with four girls in one night, his friends label him as a legend or a player. Good labels in the eyes of men. But if a girl ends up "hooking up" with four guys, her peers label her as a slut or a whore. He is upgraded while she is degraded.

Why does there need to be a difference when men and women do the exact same thing? If we are supposed to be equals, the consequences to our actions should be equal. But they aren’t. And I don’t think we should try and hide these double standards. Awareness is the first step towards a solution. But in my opinion, the solution to these double standards is time. Gender issues have become so engrained in our society that they won’t be easily fixed. I was recently having a discussion in my history class about gay rights. We addressed how people have just started to become comfortable with homosexuals in the past few decades. It took women centuries to get the vote. It took African Americans centuries to gain some equality. All minorities fight their fights with time. Gay rights will be fought with time, and I believe that time will hopefully solve our double standards. 


Andrea Dorkin, a firm feminist once said, "We have a double standard, which is to say, a man can show how much he cares by being violent -- see, he's jealous, he cares -- a woman shows how much she cares by how much she's willing to be hurt; by how much she will take ; how much she will endure." (Dorkin). I find it to be almost humorous if you think about how many things occur in our daily lives that include a double standard. Just by watching a movie, and seeing the drama that arises between a girl and a guy because he is jealous or because she isn't willing to "open her heart" to him. As Dorkin explains, men are allowed this violent approach, while women take a victim stance. Men and women are different. We all know that. But I do not believe that society should have different expectations for both sexes. We should and need to be equals.

Dependency on Men

In the novel Jasmine by Bharati Mukherjee, I found myself to feel frustrated with the main character due to her dependency on men throughout her journey. Every time Jasmine went to a new place, she found a new man to be with. From Prakash to Taylor to Bud. She was never on her own. Jasmine even realises it: "I have had a husband for each of the women I have been. Prakash for Jasmine, Taylor for Jase, Bud for Jane. Half-Face for Kali" (197). It makes me think that she didn't truly know who she was, so she didn't feel comfortable alone. And I can trace this back to when Jasmine was raped, the last time where she felt truly alone. "No one to call to, no one to disturb us. Just me and the man who had raped me, the man I had murdered" (119). Jasmine went through such a terrible thing when she was raped, that it stuck with her throughout the rest of her journey. Being alone, she was vulnerable. This vulnerability is again seen when Jase spies the man who murdered Prakash. "I can't come out and challenge him. I'm very exposed, I'm alone all day, I'm out in the park-'" (189). This frightens Jase, enough for her man at the time to notice. But with a man, it wouldn't happen to her again, she wouldn't be scared. Although this may be the reason that Jasmine was so dependent on the men in her life, I feel that over time she was becoming comfortable with herself, and could have been on her own. But instead, in the end, she again ended up with a man. Mukherjee makes it seem that Jasmine goes off with Taylor for herself, but really Taylor is the one wanting her, and she gives herself up, yet again. Mukherjee writes: "I am not choosing between men. I am caught between the promise of America and old-world dutifulness. A caregiver's life is a good life, a worthy life. What am I to do?" (240). But she is choosing between men. Taylor is the one who came to Iowa to get her, she didn't go to him. And she isn't giving up her life of being a caregiver, because she is just going to be one with Taylor and Duff. The last sentence of the novel is false in my opinion: "I am out the door and in the potholed and rutted driveway, scrambling ahead of Taylor, greedy with wants and reckless from hope" (241). Jasmine is not being greedy because she isn't truly leaving for herself. I was very frustrated with the end not only because Jasmine leaves, but with the way she leaves. Jasmine claims that she wants to be a good person, "I can't leave. How can I?' I want to do the right thing. I don't mean to be a terrible person"' (239). But how is leaving a man with his unborn child to be with another man doing the right thing? To me, the ending really wasn't an ending because it was just another step to Jasmine's journey, her journey of men.

Not only do I see the dependency on men in the novel Jasmine, but I find it to be very prevalent in the lives of women today. Maybe not so obvious today, but a few decades ago, women would go to college so they could meet a husband. They needed that man in their lives that they could depend on. In our community, there are numerous wives who do not work and depend financially on the husband. When we get married, most change their last names to that of the husband. In movies we see little girls who dream about the perfect life, which includes the perfect husband. Fortunately, there has been much change in the independence of women. Women now want a career and a family. The divorce rate has risen and there are a lot more single mothers out there now than there were a few decades ago. Even though there has been some progress today, I know that I still want that perfect life that we see in the movies. I'm not ashamed to say that when I am older, I would love to have a husband is is financially strong enough so that I don't have to work and I can be a stay at home mother, a housewife. But I would still have my independence and freedom. I would maintain my individuality and not be like Jasmine, who is dependent on men for her own character.

Can You Be Yourself in Different Environments?

We are all exposed to many different environments throughout our lives. Whether it be with your best friends, at your parents' dinner party, at summer camp, or alone in your room; your surroundings are always changing. What intrigues me about this, though, is the question of whether or not you stay the same person in every environment you are in? I truly believe that you ultimately stay the same person, but due to who you are with and the type of people you are interacting with, your behavior can definitely change. To provide quite an obvious example, you act differently around your friends than you would around the friends of your parents. You know what is appropriate around adults, and therefore you probably wouldn't be seen in hysterics over a silly joke. But with your friends, you would probably laugh about the silliest things. And thats how it should be. You should be able to act weird or make immature jokes around your friends. I realize that behavior changes according to the age of people that you are with, but I have also realized that behavior can change with respect to the place you are in. The more comfortable you feel, the more yourself you can be. 

In the novel Jasmine by Bharati Mukherjee, the main character goes on a journey throughout America, in which her environment is constantly changing. But does her identity change for each surrounding she is in? Mukherjee explores the theme of identity through Jasmine's changing names and husband. "I have had a husband for each of the women I have been. Prakash for Jasmine, Taylor for Jase, Bud for Jane. Half-Face or Kali" (197). Whether it be Jasmine, Jase, or Jane, you would think that the main character changes identity every time she moves. But, in my opinion, she brings her true identity with her along the entire journey. The one aspect that I found to shine through in every situation was her generosity and desire to be a caretaker for someone. With Prakash, she tries her best to be a good wife, with Taylor, she takes care of Duff and helps mend his broken heart, and finally with Bud, she is his full time caretaker due to his situation. Not only this, but I feel that Jasmine always has a trace of old traditions from her culture in India with her. Although some of the people she encounters in America may not agree with those traditions, she accepts their opinions, but doesn't change hers. When talking about Bud, Mukherjee writes: "He's always uneasy with tales of Hasnapur, just like Mother Ripplemeyer. It's as though Hasnapur is an old husband or lover. Even memories are a sign of disloyalty" (231). With Du, Jane has an understanding with him that she doesn't have with anyone else. They are both from similar backgrounds, and they understand the old traditions and the culture that they both come from. Overall, Jasmine proves that your true identity stays with you, no matter who you are with or where you are. Behaviors may change, but nobody and no place can take your individuality away from you.

The Girl Problem

In the most recent issue of The Standard, an opinions article was written about a "girl problem" that we seem to have in our community. The author of the article, Benjy Mercer-Golden, definitely makes some bold statements and argues that "Being academically competitive is in many ways harmful to your social life" (13). And what I took from this is: "Girls don't want to be academically successful because we care too much about our social lives. So we basically have no drive, no ambition, to succeed academically." Well I can tell you first hand, that this is completely false. Not only do I believe that girls in our community have academic drive, but I believe that sometimes they have more drive than the boys. Girls care so much about their academic lives, and it is much more apparent in them than in the boys. For example, I will most always walk down the hallways of school and hear a group of girls talking about grades they had just received, projects they had been assigned, or just interesting classes or teachers in general. But if I walk by a group of boys, I may hear something about school, but usually the rumblings of the most recent football match are creeping from them. Now this is not to say that boys in our community don't care about school, because they do. I do hear groups of boys talking about school, and I know that they worry about school probably just as much as the girls do. But the fact that Mercer-Golden has claimed that girls don't care, causes me to take a step back, and really look at the situation. New students at this school are often astonished at the amount of drive that my fellow peers and I have. We know that to get into a good school now-a-days, you need to work hard in high school. If that means missing one party in order to finish an essay, than so be it.

In the last paragraph of his article, Mercer-Golden states that: "Girls need to stop thinking of themselves as objects of desire for their male classmates and start taking themselves seriously" (13). When reading this article, I was astonished at what he thought about the girls in our school. And what angered me the most is how he blamed it on the girls, with no reference or acknowledgment of the fact that this issue has been engrained in our society for decades. I know that I don't see myself as an object of desire. I like to dress up, or put make up on to make myself feel good. Yes, there is a part of me that addresses the fact that people in our society judge others based on looks, especially if meeting for the first time. But I don't make myself look good just for others. It gives me confidence and energy. The way we dress can say a lot about a person. And a lot of girls at our school care about themselves and about what other people think. So of course they are going to make an attempt to look good. But we don't think of ourselves as "objects of desire" and we do take ourselves seriously. Our lives don't revolve around the thoughts or our male peers. We have our own goals in life, that don't have to do with the guys in our community. And when Mercer-Golden mentions that, "Almost without exception, if you are a good-looking girl you are popular; if you're not, you're not" (13). Our community does not revolve around looks. We value so much more in our fellow peers. And for someone to claim that if you are pretty, you automatically slip into the "popular" crowd is outrageous in my opinion.

In light of this article and the issues that have been brought up because of it, our school held a meeting where a panel of students discussed the issues in front of us and we had the opportunity to ask the panel some questions. I found this to be helpful in the fact that my peers were taking control, addressing the issues, and showing a desire to change them. We won't see change right away, but hopefully by creating awareness in our community, change will start to happen. But this doesn't just apply to our community, it applies to every community and society in the world. Small steps lead to big change. Even though I didn't agree with Mercer-Golden's article, I am almost glad that he had the courage to publish it. It raised so many apparent issues that we have in our community and without raising awareness, nothing can change.

Prom Season is Here

Every year, the shops are flooded with girls looking for the perfect dress and the perfect shoes to aid her on the perfect night. When this happens, you know prom is just around the corner. Every girl grows up watching movies and hearing stories about junior and senior prom. It has now become a right of passage, in more ways than one. Stereotypically, the girls look forward to dressing up, while the guys have one thing on their mind- sex. But I really don't think that this is an accurate picture of teenagers and prom. I truly believe it is a celebration of what we have accomplished so far in high school.

Even though prom is a great thing and can be a great night for so many people, I have some issues with it. Firstly, teenage girls put so much stress on themselves to look good. They search for weeks, sometimes months, for the perfect dress. They get their hair, nails, and make-up done. If you think about how much money girls spend on prom, its astounding! And it's just for one single night. In addition, I also think that prom can bring up issues with bullying, especially related with clothing. Every teenage girl is different; their body shapes are different and their taste in clothing is different. But with prom, some people don't recognize this and bullying occurs between girls. It may not be an apparent trend but it certainly exists. Every girl should get the opportunity to feel special on prom night. They shouldn't have to worry about what other people think about them. Just be comfortable and feel great. It's one thing that's great about prom, how it truly shows that clothes reflect who you are. Fashion is art. It involved creativity and imagination. And at prom, this is definitely made apparent. There are the girls who love the glitter and glam, or the girls who might want to show a little bit too much skin (in my opinion), or the girls who like the classic and elegant look. Either way, the point is that prom night is an event at which girls and express who they are in a different way than normal and feel special. We all need to feel special every once in a while.

Mothers Day

Yesterday, millions of people in America and many ex-Patriots living overseas celebrated Mother's Day. The day where we get to fully show our appreciation to our mothers for all the sacrifices that they make for us. I certainly know from experience that mothers give up a huge part of their lives for their children. I am a very competitive equestrian rider, which much of my time is devoted to. But I couldn't have gotten to where I am today without the help of my mother. Not only does she do the major organizational parts of my sport including planning my competitions and talking to trainers etc., but she also drove me an hour and a half round trip five days a week for eight years (until I got my licence). She sacrificed her whole entire afternoon, from 3:30 pm until 6:30-7:00 pm, five days a week. And this doesn't include the numerous day-long or weekend-long competitions that I travel to, which can be extremely exhausting. I feel truly blessed to have a mother who is so devoted to her children's lives, and so devoted to giving them the opportunity and the means to achieve whatever they desire. Theodore Roosevelt once said, "No ordinary work done by a man is either as hard or as responsible as the work of a woman who is bringing up a family of small children; for upon her time and strength demands are made not only every hour of the day but often every hour of the night." And he is absolutely right. A mother's job never stops. And I honestly think it is the hardest, but the most gratifying job you can have in this world.


Of course the stereotype is that a mother and daughter constantly argue over trivial things such as curfews or punishments, and this does happen, a lot. But it is overshadowed by the love and support that a mother offers to her daughter. Whether it be about friends, boys, or more serious issues like sex, a mother never judges and loves her daughter unconditionally. The relationship that is built between a mother and a daughter is so special and necessary in a girls life, that it saddens me to know that there are so many girls out there without a mom. I honestly don't know and do not want to imagine what I would do without my mom. She is my rock to fall back on, always. The guidance from your mother is irreplaceable and I think that we should stop arguing about so many meaningless things. Being completely corny, life is short. We don't know what will happen in the future. And you don't want to look back a few years down the line and regret the things you missed out on with your mother. Abraham Lincoln once said, "I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life." The things that our mothers do stay with us for life. My main point is, take the time to appreciate your mother, build on your relationship, and maybe thank her for just being her every once in a while.

City of Joy

Recently, we watched a short promotional video about an organization called City of Joy. Mainly focusing in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, City of Joy helps women rebuild their lives after they have experienced horrific violence. The video provided us with a background of the situation in the DRC, of which has become a very serious and scary issue in our world. Currently, a war of resources for products is being fought on the bodies of innocent women. Women and children are raped and killed constantly, and City of Joy wants to help. "The City of Joy will provide women a place to heal emotionally as they rebuild their lives, turn their pain to power, and return back into their communities to lead" (http://drc.vday.org/city-of-joy). Turning pain to power. That is their message. And I truly believe this to be inspirational not only to those women in the DRC, but women all over the world. This reminds me of the Amy Biehl Foundation, which has a very sad background. A young girl was in South Africa 12 years ago and was murdered by four men. Her parents then forgave the men, and appealed that they be released from jail. Two of the men now work for the foundation. To me, this astonishing story of forgiveness shows how much power you can get from pain. 

      What touched me most about the video and this organization was the way these women acted. They have gone through so much violence and abuse in their lives, more than I can imagine. Yet they don’t let it ruin the rest of their lives. They are trying to move forward and live without fear. In the video, various women are dancing, singing, laughing, and generally having a great time. And Eve Ensler (author of The Vagina Monologues) is constantly trying to help them deal with their anger for what has happened to them. She tries to give them the opportunity to understand, and then throw it away and move forward, not hang on. City of Joy and Eve Ensler are also connected with V-Day, "an energy, a movement, a catalyst, a day to end violence towards women- born out of The Vagina Monologues" (xxxi). V-Day has spread around the world, gathering support for the fight against violence. Instead of us putting aside a day to celebrate the birth of someone, we put aside V-Day to celebrate the death of violence towards women.

      Another thing that I enjoyed seeing in the video was the building of a new City of Joy centre, to protect and help the women of the DRC. They showed men and women helping to build this centre. The fact that men were willingly offering their services to protect women almost shows that there is still hope that things will change. The situation will change, one day. Seeing the contributions of men and women put together in one effort appeared to me to be a true fight for the cause.

Here is the link to the video: http://drc.vday.org/building-the-city-of-joy

And here is a link to a video about the situation in the DRC: http://drc.vday.org/paintopower

'Poochi', 'Va-J-J', 'Pussycat', or Just Vagina?

Recently we read The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler in class, which was very different from anything else I have ever read in an English class. Just from the title, you would think that most people would be immediately turned off. And one point of this book is to give people the opportunity to be more comfortable with just the word vagina. That is one thing that I find intriguing about Eve Ensler, how she pushes things to limits, but she has a point to it. It isn’t for entertainment (trust me, it really isn’t) or it isn’t just to show the depths that Ensler can go. Instead, it’s for a change. Ensler starts off in the introduction explaining how she is from the “down there” generation. And she is trying to change that. She goes to the extremes to give an example for people to follow. To see a change, you have to push things. Otherwise, gradual change, which is what it would be, might not happen. Ensler claims that, "Women secretly love to talk about their vaginas. They get very excited, mainly because no one's ever asked them before" (back cover). Our generation is the first to actually grasp the concept of vaginas and take hold of it.

But what is it about the word vagina that turns so many people off? Even the media harbors fear of the word, as Ensler explains by recalling how "David Letterman tries to say vagina, but can't" (xxvii). Ensler brings in a great sense of humor in the first chapter with reasons as to why she thinks vagina is such an ugly word. "It sounds like an infection at best, maybe a medical instrument: 'Hurry, Nurse, bring me the vagina'" (5). Many of the things she says I completely agree with. It isn’t a pretty word; nobody really likes to say it. So therefore, we don’t address the issues that surround it. "Doesn't matter how many times you say it, it never sounds like a word you want to say. It's a totally ridiculous, completely unsexy word" (5). But I don’t think that it is the word that makes it “unsexy”. I believe that it is the discrimination against women that has occurred over the past centuries that has lead to our fear of this word. Men are portrayed as having strong and powerful genitals. But for women, it shouldn’t even be mentioned. It’s almost like saying Voldemort if you were at Hogwarts. Ensler states that, "There's so much darkness and secrecy surrounding them- like the Bermuda Triangle. Nobody ever reports back from there" (3-4). But I do think that this book helps to address these issues and try and change them in a positive way. Ensler states that, "With the help of outrageous voices and honest words like those in this book, I believe the grandmothers, mothers, and daughters of the future will heal their selves- and men the world" (xix).

Why Does Success Lead to Physical Attraction?

http://www.manilena.com/rants/michael-phelps-bong-bong-bong/

During the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics, Michael Phelps won a record eight gold medals for the United States in swimming. I can remember that summer, where Michael Phelps was all anybody could talk about. He soon appeared in magazines like People and Us Weekly alongside famous actors. He had been shot into the spotlight. And almost instantaneously, a wave of girls gushing over him arrived on the scene. But if we take a step back from all the chaos that occurred and actually look at a picture of Michael Phelps, it is quite clear, in my opinion, that he isn’t extremely attractive. In fact, his body structure is quite disproportionate, which actually helps him swim better. But people still think he is good looking, despite this. This just shows the effects of success on our opinions of things. Because Michael Phelps received so much fame and press for his accomplishments, people took notice, and their visions were somewhat clouded. It happens over and over again, and it has probably happened to me at some point. But what is it about success that makes people that much more attractive?

In my opinion, because these people have so much success, we feel that if we can be apart of it, we can feel the pride and honor that they feel. But it shouldn’t be that way. You have to earn success, on your own merit. Not off of someone else’s. Otherwise how can it feel that you have earned anything? This also reminds me off college applications. I have heard numerous stories over the years of people that are the top of their class with resumes stacked with extra-curricular activities. But they aren’t accepted into the top schools. Instead, the children of wealthy families who have connections to either presidents or people on the board of various schools take their places. In my opinion, getting accepted into a school this way is the worst. You haven’t done it on your own. Through those four years of high school, all of our hard work goes into being accepted into a good school. But what if none of that matters, and it was all down to your family. And I’m not saying that this is the case for everyone, in fact it is probably the case for a very small minority, but it is out there. To me it’s sad, because we can’t do anything about it. But I would not feel worthy of the accomplishment and I wouldn’t be able to get gratitude out of it. So if you cant get any of that, the work that you have done becomes worthless.

In The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf addresses certain lies about a woman’s rise in power, the first being: “(1) ‘Beauty’ had to be defined as a legitimate and necessary qualification for a woman’s rise in power” (28). We hear so many stories, not knowing if they are true, about women either sleeping their way to the top, or gaining merit based on looks. I hope that this is not true, and Wolf seems to think that it is not. But appearances play such a huge role in society today, that it makes me think that this could be true. The second lie that Wolf talks about is: “(2) The discriminatory purpose of vital lie number one had to be masked…by fitting it firmly within the American dream: ‘Beauty’ can be earned by any woman through hard work and enterprise” (28). This brings us back to Michael Phelps and how beauty was achieved through his success. But Wolf again states that this is a lie. I clearly disagree with Wolf on this point, because I think that it is the truth in many cases, maybe not as often for women, but it has happened.

Grandmother Interview

Recently for class, we were asked to interview our grandmothers, or someone close to you that was over the age of 65. I was able to contact my grandmother on my mother’s side of the family and ask her various questions about her life and the issues that arose as she grew up. One thing that I loved about this assignment was that I had just finished studying about the lavish 1920s, the Great Depression, and World War II in history class. Therefore, as my grandmother was explaining her life as a child during this time, I had a better picture in my mind and knew the context from what she was speaking about.

My grandmother was born in 1927 and luckily her father had a good job so they didn’t suffer as much as others did during the Depression. But even though she was just a baby, she can remember the rationing that took place and seeing other families around her crumble. I am a bit older than she was during that time, and so I can understand the economic crash that just happened better than she could have understood the depression. But the fact that she noticed the little things that affected her life reminds me of myself. I can remember when the crash happened a couple years ago, and restaurants would be easier to get into, for sale signs on cars would say “For Sale Due To Recession”, and most frightening of all, I know numerous people who lost their jobs. Even though the Great Depression was about 80 years ago, the impact on children’s lives is still the same for the crash of 2007.

The thing that I loved most talking about with my grandmother was her social life, especially as a teenager. She said that the dress code was “very classic, skirts and sweaters with pearls, and penny loafers or high heels with a dress.” I find it so funny that I can walk down the street, 70 years later, and still see the same thing. It may be altered slightly to fit in with our generation, but the basic principles are there. Looking back at fashion, so many different styles have been brought back, then pushed away, and then brought back again. Fashion is just recycling old ideas. But this is probably the thing that attracts me most to fashion, because it connects my generation with others from the past. There are not many other ways in which to experience the lifestyles of the past, but in one way, fashion allows us to feel the confidence and pride of putting on an outfit, that some girl felt 70 years ago.

While discussing how the relationship between men and women has changed or stayed the same over time, my grandmother stated that, “Many women are not as willing to work on marriage stability as they once were.” Nowadays, divorce is a common thing. Marriage has become much less serious, transforming into a spontaneous and funny story you tell people, or a decision over cast with emotion, and no logic. But in the past, things were different. You would work on your marriage and not even dream of splitting up. The man you married was the man you were going to be with for the rest of your life, no exceptions. In some ways, I think this took power away from women. It was always the woman tied to the man, not the other way around. Today, women have the power of choice. If they are not happy in their marriage, they shouldn’t have to live the rest of their life that way. In no way am I saying that divorce is a great thing. I believe that you should be absolutely sure about marrying someone and not make a mistake. But if you unfortunately do, luckily women don’t have to pay the price for it anymore.

I fully enjoyed talking to my grandmother about various issues and loved the connections I was able to make to my life. All women, from babies to grandmothers, have a connection. Not because they are the same sex, but because of the issues we all share. We are not alone in this world, and we shouldn’t pretend that we are.

Images Continued- The Beauty Myth

I recently discussed how our society has developed to make women feel that they need to be skinny in order to be physically attractive. I addressed how advertising and the media plays a huge role in this, and luckily we started to read The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and we also watched Killing Us Softly 4 by Jean Kilbourne. In a section in The Beauty Myth, Wolf talks about magazines: how they have evolved along with society, their positives and negatives, and their effect on women. Wolf states: "They (magazines) have popularised feminist ideas more widely than any other medium... It was through these glossies that issues from the women's movement swept out... Seen in this light, they are very potent instruments of social change" (71-72). We don't realise what an effect that magazines have on us. We read them monthly, cover to cover, with green eyes full of envy glaring at the stick thin models who are wrapped around almost every other page. Sex is probably the most common thing that is tied to these advertisements as companies are desperately trying to sell their products. And sex usually doesn't even have anything to do with the product. These ads teach us what is sexy, what we should strive to look and act like, and that if you do this (or buy this product), men will find you sexier and therefore you will find someone to be with. But how can buying a certain brand of beer, for example, make you sexier?

Another thing that Wolf addresses is the relationship between the reader and her magazine, a relationship that is completely different from that of a man and his Newsweek, for example. Wolf states: "Though the magazines are trivialized, they represent something very important: women's mass culture. A woman reading Glamour is holding women-oriented mass culture between her two hands" (Pg. 70). I find it strange to even refer to a relationship between a person and a magazine, just because it is a very trivial thing. But a magazine allow for a connection to be made between its reader and the issues that surround our everyday lives. A woman can find solace in the fact that other women share the same problems that they do. They aren’t alone in this world. And magazines are the cause of this realization.

Finally, Wolf is correct in saying that magazines represent and display an evolution of society through numerous decades. Unfortunately, as women have advanced, it seems to be that the things that hold them back became greater factors. As the articles and issues in magazines expanded for women, the advertisements started to gain momentum that catapulted them into a surreal world where it doesn’t matter how skinny their models are, or what message they are giving, as long as they sell products. Wolf addresses this contradiction that we find within magazines: “While the editors take a step forward for themselves and their readers, they must also take a step back into the beauty myth for the sake of their advertisers” (77). I find this contradiction to be extremely interesting in the context of human nature, with the fact that people are willing to sacrifice their own morals for money, essentially.

What is So Intriguing About Speculative Fiction?

The Handmaid's Tale, 1984, and Never Let Me Go are all novels that have grabbed the attention of readers around the world. They all fall under the genre of speculative fiction. But what is it about speculative fiction that readers just love? Our society today is fast paced. The common businessman or woman rushing through an airport or impatiently waiting for a Starbucks coffee is a familiar sight. Planners control our lives; technology has made us more impatient; our society has advanced. But even though we have come to this point in life, we still like to imagine another world, or what would have happened if history had changed its course.

In The Handmaid's Tale, history has changed course and birth rates have dropped, eventually leading to a society based on one thing: making children. Today, having children is a wonderful thing that is commonly celebrated around the world. But we never stop and think what it would be like if something could prevent a large percentage of the population from having children. This bizarre idea is explained in the novel, though. I find that the things we are most interested in are often the things we had never really thought about in depth before. These are the things that excite us in life. Imagination is a powerful thing. Speculative fiction takes advantage of our love to imagine, and uses it to imagine very different and often strange things.

One thing that speculative fiction reminds me of is a 'video game', or so I thought, called second life. In this game, you pretty much live in a cyber world, where you meet other people and can even make real money. We sometimes get so caught up in this alternate world, though, that it can start to become real for us. This so called addiction can be harmful. I have heard numerous stories of people who live in this video game, and think that it is real. Life can be hard, and an alternate reality can be an easy escape for some, but it shouldn't necessarily be the right one.

Speculative fiction might offer us a different view of the world, but it allows the reader to get caught up in the story, without them believing it to be real. Instead of a dangerous addiction being the result, we get to experience a world in some sort of a “safe mode”, a healthy way to exercise our imagination. In one way, I can connect this to the way that Offred finds her sources of freedom and expression. Constantly through the book Offred refers to writing and reading as her freedom: “Pen Is Envy… Just holding it is envy. I envy the Commander his pen” (196). She desperately wants to have the power that is beheld in his pen; a small and simple object that contains the will for her to keep going. Offred uses the pen as an expression of her imagination, like how some people use speculative fiction. Another reason why I believe people are so attracted to speculative fiction is because we are always wondering about the future. This can also be connected to The Handmaid’s Tale, in quite an opposite way where Offred is always looking back and referencing to her past. “I wanted to feel Luke lying beside me. I have them, these attacks of the past, like faintness, a wave sweeping over my head” (62). These constant looks into her past also help her get through life and give her some sort of hope, a hope for an escape one day. So in this way, she is looking into her past for the future. 

Women in the Family

In Mary Wolllstonecraft's Vindication of the Rights of Women, she constantly addresses the issue of a woman. Whether they be in the work force, the family, or in the social scene. I find it most interesting, though, when these issues are concentrated within the family. The relationship between a husband and wife starts with love, but there is an eventual natural death of love. "She secures her husband's respect before it is necessary to exert mean arts to please him and feed a dying flame, which nature doomed to expire when the object became familiar, when friendship and forbearance take place of a more ardent affection" (54). When this love dies, though, the two keep a "domestic peace" between them, and I believe that this is necessary for the family to continue on and exert virtues onto their children. But if there is no husband, Wollstonecraft explains how a widow focuses all of her love and attention of her children. "She lives to see the virtues which she endeavoured to plant on principles, fixed into habits, to see her children attain a strength of character sufficient to enable them to endure adversity without forgetting their mother's example" (55). To me, this seems like a huge responsibility for a mother, and extremely hard, considering the era that this book was written in. Women were so limited in the 18th century, and I don't know how Wollstonecraft thought that a widow could be a perfect example for her children. Nobody is perfect, we all have our issues and we all make mistakes. So how Wollstonecraft put this need to be perfect on women is astonishing to me.

Images- Why This Way?

During spring break, I have been in Los Angeles, California looking at schools. During the days which I haven't been touring colleges, my mother and I have opted to go shopping. We figure we might as well since we don't get too many opportunities to shop in America. As we walk the streets of L.A., young, gorgeous, skinny, and fake women troll in high heels, hanging onto their older, successful husbands. Their voices are loud and obnoxious, deafening so much that we have to move tables during one meal. Their conversations include fashion, gossip, and maybe some more fashion. Don't get me wrong, there are so many other types of people in L.A., so I'm not making a generalisation about all women in L.A., I'm just offering my observations of some of the women that I encountered. But as I looked at these women, probably a size 0, sipping on their cold ice waters and picking at their salads, I wonder how our society has evolved into a place where being stick thin is desirable? 

In The Handmaid's Tale, images are consistently brought up. The body is such an important symbol of fertility and beauty in the novel. Yet the main character, Offred, will not look at her own naked body. Her constant dehumanisation of herself contributes to this almost self-loathing of a sort, in which society also adds to. In one instance, we can clearly see her objectifying herself: "What I must present is a made thing, not something born" (66). The pressures of this different society on women focus a lot, like ours, on the body. Margaret Atwood constantly refers to the body, even when Offred is explaining her purpose in society: "I’m a cloud, congealed around a central object, the shape of a pear, which is hard and more real than I am and glows red within its translucent wrapping" (Chapter 13). 

A few decades ago, the desirable size was maybe a 4 or a 6. But since then, it has decreased until a 0. So many girls nowadays deal with various eating disorders due to so many social pressures around them. The media, being one of the main pressures, has huge implications on girls, especially teenagers. If you look through any random magazine, I can probably guarantee you that 75% of the ads will imply in some way that to be attractive, you need to be skinny. But being attractive shouldn't just be about your weight. It should be about so much more, including the cheesy line: "It's about what's on the inside". But what is it about being skinny that is attractive? Girls all over the world starve themselves to be that way. It can be such an unhealthy way to live as well. You don’t get proper nutrition, and therefore don’t get the most out of your life because you have no energy.

I do believe that the media has played a big part in bringing our society to this point today. But I also think that human nature has played a role. By nature, I feel that we are followers. We look to the “superiors” to guide us on the newest fashion trends, slang, and in this case, body image. If we weren’t like this, we wouldn’t have fallen into this trap that has killed a countless number of girls. Although I am painting a picture of this awful society that has intense pressures on girls to be skinny, I do believe that things are changing. I am seeing many more health campaigns in the media and schools are improving their food to promote healthy eating. Because the world is so aware of these issues, we can take control and fix them. Awareness is such a powerful thing, and I hope that in the future girls won’t have to worry about being a size 0. Instead, they should just worry about being healthy.

A few decades ago, the desirable size was maybe a 4 or a 6. But since then, it has decreased until a 0. So many girls nowadays deal with various eating disorders due to so many social pressures around them. The media, being one of the main pressures, has huge implications on girls, especially teenagers. If you look through any random magazine, I can probably guarantee you that 75% of the ads will imply in some way that to be attractive, you need to be skinny. But being attractive shouldn't just be about your weight. It should be about so much more, including the cheesy line: "It's about what's on the inside". 


Pablo Picasso once said, "Beauty?... To me it is a word without sense because I do not know where its meaning comes from nor where it leads to." I can understand what he trying to say, how beauty is something that we truly cannot define. It is different everywhere, whether that be Los Angeles or the world of Gilead in The Handmaid's Tale. The way that some societies can act upon beauty is so terrible and demeaning, I think that it is one of the most awful things that happens today. Beauty should be allowed to be different and personal. 

Freedom from Sex. Is it Possible?

In the previous post, I talked about freedom of choice, and where that comes from. But is it possible that this freedom can come from sex, and eventually lead to power. In The Handmaid's Tale, sex is a very apparent theme. In the "ceremony", for instance, the Wife is with the Commander and Offred while they are having sex. In past and today, sex has been an act of being together, completely as one. And here, they try and keep this feeling by having the Wife be there, so she can somewhat be apart of the act of making her baby. Not only this, but the Commander completely controls the situation. This is his ultimate power, sex. But does this transfer to the women, making them want this exact power?

This brings up the issue of prostitution. Sex can be emotional, passionate, and thrilling, but most of all, it is powerful. The choice of having sex or not is a woman's greatest possession. With prostitution, women choose to use this power to improve their economic lives, but at the same time, their moral code is disintegrated. In my opinion, it is morally wrong to do this. I understand that some people live harsh lives and may not think they have another option, but I believe that they do. 

But the real question is, can freedom come from the power of sex? Through sex, can you be free from all rules, and be free to just be yourself. Sex always comes with something attached to it. No matter how much you try and make it not emotional, as the people do in The Handmaid’s Tale, you can’t avoid the tags that come along with it. Even in sex, in the novel, there are rules that Offred cant avoid. Sex cannot be an escape in your life. And I believe that if you try and use it as an escape, you will get hurt.

This brings up another issue in the novel, love. With the Commander’s relationship with Offred, I find that he misses the loving touches and talks between and husband and wife. Marriage is now a machine, made to make babies. But this causes people to not really look for love anymore. It is almost as if they choose not to love, because with love, there are ups and downs. It is better to not love and be safe, than to love and have turbulence through your life. But I believe that this is just being afraid of what you want to feel. Fear is a strong thing, especially in reference to sex and love. But you cannot let fear control your life. You must be in control.

Freedom: Absolute vs. Restricted

The amazingly different world that is depicted in Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale shows a society that is much more limiting than the one we live in now. The narrator explains a shift in freedom in society, from their old world, to their new: "There is more than one kind of freedom, said Aunt Lydia. Freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now you are being given freedom from. Don't underrate it" (34). In their old society, their freedom was something that they could take and apply it to something else. It came from themselves, and they spread it. But "freedom from" is their new society, where they gain freedom from authority and are directed how to apply it. But can this so called "freedom", actually be called freedom? The point of freedom is the ability to make choices and decisions, on your own. But this "freedom from" does not present anything close to that for the women in this novel.

The stringent rules that outline their daily lives and restrict their freedom pushes women to want to break the rules in any little way possible, emphasis on the little. "It's an event, a small defiance of rule, so small as to be undetectable, but such moments are the rewards I hold out for myself, like the candy I hoarded, as a child, at the back of a drawer. Such moments are possibilities, tiny peepholes" (31). The narrator has only just allowed the guard to look into her eyes, and she has thought about touching his face. But this small moment in time has created excitement, fear, and hope in her life. With such restrictions, these emotions can be hard to come by.

Not only is freedom an apparent theme in The Handmaid's Tale, but freedom is also relevant to society today. Women today have much more freedom than they did a hundred years ago. This ability to choose comes across strongly in marriage. There are no arranged marriages, and it is now a relationship built on compromise between man and woman. In addition, when the Nineteenth Amendment was passed in 1920, women gained the right to vote. This large step gave women a political voice, something they had been looking for for generations.

Freedom in our lives can be seen as a choice and a voice, but sometimes there can also be a hidden restriction behind it. In the novel, the narrator explains her freedom at night: "The night is mine, my own time, to do with as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still" (47). Here she has freedom during the night, but it is restricted. She cannot move, or talk, yet she feels free. Just the slightest bit of feeling free, makes it seem like she has complete freedom, but she doesn't. Before the Nineteenth Amendment, the little steps, such as the work by the labor unions and temperance societies,  that women took towards political freedom made it seem as if they were free. But they were still restricted and discriminated against, and had no vote.

I believe that there is a fine line between absolute freedom and restricted freedom. The Handmaid's Tale depicts restricted freedom at the highest level. You can often be tricked into believing you have achieved absolute freedom, but it is still restricted. I do believe, though, that women have achieved absolute freedom in certain areas in society, and they will continue to in the future.

Women Sticking Up for Women

Throughout history, women have banded together to fight discrimination and oppression. Whether you know the woman or not, we all have a connection to one another, because we are women. But what is most interesting is that in the short story, "A Jury of Her Peers" by Susan Glaspell, the women protect one another, against the law. Feeling a connection and being sympathetic towards a woman is one thing, but risking your own morals and freedom for someone you barely know, is a completely different matter.

For women, it seems to be that domesticity and motherhood has always been tied to them. And women have grown to be proud of this. We can see in "A Jury of Her Peers", that when Mary Hale is asked to go with her husband, in the middle of cooking, she is ashamed of leaving the kitchen a mess: "But what her eye took in was that her kitchen was in no shape for leaving: her break all ready for mixing, half the flour sifted and half unsifted." (1) Her house, her realm, is the place she is most proud of. The one thing she can control and be dominant over is the house. And when the Mrs. Hale and Mrs. Peters enter into Minny Foster's kitchen, they feel for her. The kitchen is a complete mess, and they begin to clean it because they know that they would never have liked anybody to see their own kitchens like that. "I'd hate to have men comin' into my kitchen,' she said testily—‘snoopin' round and criticizin'" (7). Not only this, but when the two wives discover that Minny's fruit has been ruined, they decide not to tell her, to save her anymore grief at this time in her life. 

It isn't just in the story, "A Jury of Her Peers" that we can see women sticking together. In school, girls band together to form 'cliques' or groups, that support each other. They have their ups and downs, but if they are truly friends, they are always there for each other. In the 19th and 20th century, when women were fighting for their rights, they stuck together because they had no one else. They all wanted the same thing, and therefore were connected in a way that men would never be to women. They created labor unions, temperance societies, suffrage associations; all to fight on their own behalf. In addition, I also believe that the reason women feel the need to support each other is because they can’t connect to men. They may have a man in their life that they love, but that bond may never replace the one they have with their best friend. Genders connect with the same gender, it has always been that way. And don’t get me wrong, men can have a connection with women, girls can have best friends who are guys. But I think that the bond you form with your own sex can potentially be stronger than any bond with the opposite sex.

"The End of Men" by Hanna Rosin

"The End of Men" is an essay in The Atlantic, published in August 2010. Rosin begins with the topic of sperm selection, or the choosing of gender of a baby. She points out that in the past, boys have been the most popular choice for parents. But now, this is beginning to change, and parents are requesting more for girls than boys. Rosin quotes a woman from "Cookie" magazine, "Women of our generation want daughter precisely because we like who we are," (3). She uses this to lead into her argument, that "the modern, postindustrial economy is simply more congenial to women than to men," (4). But one thing that I find annoying about this article, is that Rosin never factors in other things that may have an effect on this issue. She talks about in the recession, the worst hit industries were the "manly" ones, such as construction. But construction is always hit hard in an economic panic because there is less money going into real estate, and therefore less demand for construction. She also discusses how "The range of acceptable masculine roles has changed comparatively little, and has perhaps even narrowed as men have shied away from some careers women have entered," (6). I feel that men need to have this macho exterior at all times, and if they do anything that is somewhat feminine, they are portrayed as not being a man. But it shouldn't be that way. If women can conquer the manly world of business, and enter the workforce, then why can't men enter into the nurturing professions that are known as being feminine? One thing I found interesting and puzzling about this article was the fact that Rosin stated all of these statistics about women improving their economic positions, but that "only 3 percent of 'Fortune 500' CEOs are women," (7). To me that is astonishing. But I feel that it has taken women this long throughout history to achieve this much, and achieving an equal basis at the highest economic level is going to be a huge step, one that will take a lot of time. Most men don't even get that far in life, so I feel that it shouldn't be a pressing matter at this time, and it will come one day. The main thing that annoyed me about this article was the fact that Rosin made it seem that when choosing between being a housewife or a working woman, the workforce was better. She never addresses the joys of being a mother, or taking care of your family. Instead, she almost makes it seem as a set back in women's lives, and that women can't achieve anything when they stay at home. But in my opinion, the role of a woman in a home is just as important. She raises the future generation, and without her, we would have gone nowhere in history. In general, I found this article to raise some interesting points and statistics about women, but I found that  Rosin talked about the extremes on both ends, and never really the middle ground. In addition, some of her statements were huge generalizations and her justifications didn't include all factors.