Freedom from Sex. Is it Possible?

In the previous post, I talked about freedom of choice, and where that comes from. But is it possible that this freedom can come from sex, and eventually lead to power. In The Handmaid's Tale, sex is a very apparent theme. In the "ceremony", for instance, the Wife is with the Commander and Offred while they are having sex. In past and today, sex has been an act of being together, completely as one. And here, they try and keep this feeling by having the Wife be there, so she can somewhat be apart of the act of making her baby. Not only this, but the Commander completely controls the situation. This is his ultimate power, sex. But does this transfer to the women, making them want this exact power?

This brings up the issue of prostitution. Sex can be emotional, passionate, and thrilling, but most of all, it is powerful. The choice of having sex or not is a woman's greatest possession. With prostitution, women choose to use this power to improve their economic lives, but at the same time, their moral code is disintegrated. In my opinion, it is morally wrong to do this. I understand that some people live harsh lives and may not think they have another option, but I believe that they do. 

But the real question is, can freedom come from the power of sex? Through sex, can you be free from all rules, and be free to just be yourself. Sex always comes with something attached to it. No matter how much you try and make it not emotional, as the people do in The Handmaid’s Tale, you can’t avoid the tags that come along with it. Even in sex, in the novel, there are rules that Offred cant avoid. Sex cannot be an escape in your life. And I believe that if you try and use it as an escape, you will get hurt.

This brings up another issue in the novel, love. With the Commander’s relationship with Offred, I find that he misses the loving touches and talks between and husband and wife. Marriage is now a machine, made to make babies. But this causes people to not really look for love anymore. It is almost as if they choose not to love, because with love, there are ups and downs. It is better to not love and be safe, than to love and have turbulence through your life. But I believe that this is just being afraid of what you want to feel. Fear is a strong thing, especially in reference to sex and love. But you cannot let fear control your life. You must be in control.

Freedom: Absolute vs. Restricted

The amazingly different world that is depicted in Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale shows a society that is much more limiting than the one we live in now. The narrator explains a shift in freedom in society, from their old world, to their new: "There is more than one kind of freedom, said Aunt Lydia. Freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now you are being given freedom from. Don't underrate it" (34). In their old society, their freedom was something that they could take and apply it to something else. It came from themselves, and they spread it. But "freedom from" is their new society, where they gain freedom from authority and are directed how to apply it. But can this so called "freedom", actually be called freedom? The point of freedom is the ability to make choices and decisions, on your own. But this "freedom from" does not present anything close to that for the women in this novel.

The stringent rules that outline their daily lives and restrict their freedom pushes women to want to break the rules in any little way possible, emphasis on the little. "It's an event, a small defiance of rule, so small as to be undetectable, but such moments are the rewards I hold out for myself, like the candy I hoarded, as a child, at the back of a drawer. Such moments are possibilities, tiny peepholes" (31). The narrator has only just allowed the guard to look into her eyes, and she has thought about touching his face. But this small moment in time has created excitement, fear, and hope in her life. With such restrictions, these emotions can be hard to come by.

Not only is freedom an apparent theme in The Handmaid's Tale, but freedom is also relevant to society today. Women today have much more freedom than they did a hundred years ago. This ability to choose comes across strongly in marriage. There are no arranged marriages, and it is now a relationship built on compromise between man and woman. In addition, when the Nineteenth Amendment was passed in 1920, women gained the right to vote. This large step gave women a political voice, something they had been looking for for generations.

Freedom in our lives can be seen as a choice and a voice, but sometimes there can also be a hidden restriction behind it. In the novel, the narrator explains her freedom at night: "The night is mine, my own time, to do with as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still" (47). Here she has freedom during the night, but it is restricted. She cannot move, or talk, yet she feels free. Just the slightest bit of feeling free, makes it seem like she has complete freedom, but she doesn't. Before the Nineteenth Amendment, the little steps, such as the work by the labor unions and temperance societies,  that women took towards political freedom made it seem as if they were free. But they were still restricted and discriminated against, and had no vote.

I believe that there is a fine line between absolute freedom and restricted freedom. The Handmaid's Tale depicts restricted freedom at the highest level. You can often be tricked into believing you have achieved absolute freedom, but it is still restricted. I do believe, though, that women have achieved absolute freedom in certain areas in society, and they will continue to in the future.

Women Sticking Up for Women

Throughout history, women have banded together to fight discrimination and oppression. Whether you know the woman or not, we all have a connection to one another, because we are women. But what is most interesting is that in the short story, "A Jury of Her Peers" by Susan Glaspell, the women protect one another, against the law. Feeling a connection and being sympathetic towards a woman is one thing, but risking your own morals and freedom for someone you barely know, is a completely different matter.

For women, it seems to be that domesticity and motherhood has always been tied to them. And women have grown to be proud of this. We can see in "A Jury of Her Peers", that when Mary Hale is asked to go with her husband, in the middle of cooking, she is ashamed of leaving the kitchen a mess: "But what her eye took in was that her kitchen was in no shape for leaving: her break all ready for mixing, half the flour sifted and half unsifted." (1) Her house, her realm, is the place she is most proud of. The one thing she can control and be dominant over is the house. And when the Mrs. Hale and Mrs. Peters enter into Minny Foster's kitchen, they feel for her. The kitchen is a complete mess, and they begin to clean it because they know that they would never have liked anybody to see their own kitchens like that. "I'd hate to have men comin' into my kitchen,' she said testily—‘snoopin' round and criticizin'" (7). Not only this, but when the two wives discover that Minny's fruit has been ruined, they decide not to tell her, to save her anymore grief at this time in her life. 

It isn't just in the story, "A Jury of Her Peers" that we can see women sticking together. In school, girls band together to form 'cliques' or groups, that support each other. They have their ups and downs, but if they are truly friends, they are always there for each other. In the 19th and 20th century, when women were fighting for their rights, they stuck together because they had no one else. They all wanted the same thing, and therefore were connected in a way that men would never be to women. They created labor unions, temperance societies, suffrage associations; all to fight on their own behalf. In addition, I also believe that the reason women feel the need to support each other is because they can’t connect to men. They may have a man in their life that they love, but that bond may never replace the one they have with their best friend. Genders connect with the same gender, it has always been that way. And don’t get me wrong, men can have a connection with women, girls can have best friends who are guys. But I think that the bond you form with your own sex can potentially be stronger than any bond with the opposite sex.